That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.